• Lou Dobbs Better Check Himself

    Submitted by Maverick on 11/25/09 3:31am
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    I turned on the TV today and ya know what I heard? That old gas bag Lou Dobbs says he's gonna try to run for President in 2012. Well, let me tell you something, that fat boy has never run for anything in his entire pudgy life, so he better not start now unless he wants to have a heart attack trying to outrun a slender, campaign-trail-tested political Olympiad like me. I've had my eye on 2012 ever since John's people wrapped me up in designer duds. Lou Dobbs better check himself before he wrecks himself in a race against yours truly.



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  • Oprah: Nice Person, or Nicest?

    Submitted by Maverick on 11/18/09 4:00am
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    Oh, diary, I am so glad I can finally start talking to everybody about how wonderful Oprah was to me! She just went above and beyond when I was on the show. I was expecting the Godiva chocolates in the green room because I heard from John Mayer about them (John is so dreamy), but the massages and not having to answer for my numerous public humiliations was a nice bonus.



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  • Levi Better Watch Out

    Submitted by Maverick on 11/11/09 12:58am
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    Not many people know about this, but me and that little jailbaiting twerp Levi Johnston are gonna be going toe-to-toe in the square circle this Saturday. That's right, crazy as it sounds I, Sarah Palin, have every intention of bare-knuckle boxing Levi Johnston in a secret underground match in just a few short days. I've been chugging protein shakes and training with a guy who looks just like the old fella from Rocky because it turns out the guy who was in Rocky is dead now. And ya know who else is gonna be dead soon? Levi Johnston, just as soon as he meets the twin terrors that are Margaret and Nancy. That's what I call my fists. Margaret and Nancy. Margaret's on the left 'cuz she's British and they're still good-for-nothin' socialists.



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  • Book Tour Rider

    Submitted by Maverick on 11/4/09 2:50am
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    Maverick Media Group LLC, the representative organization for political superstar and author personality Sarah Palin, would like to extend its thanks to you [insert venue name and/or managing individual here] for hosting a stop on the official Sarah Palin Going Rogue promotional book tour. As a very important person with very specific needs, Mrs. Palin will require the following upon her arrival at your venue.



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