• Entry: In Bishkek

    Submitted by Maverick on 4/28/10 3:00am
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    Sarah and I, Bernard Magnusson III, have different, though often complementary, methods. Even before the change that made her into the love of my life, Sarah has preferred the direct approach, facing her adversaries head-on. She is a slayer of beasts, a killer who wants to look her quarries in the eye before loosing the fate of a bullet. I have never been a man for one-on-one confrontation. My forte is in the art of a plan, in traps set and time bode. That is why I write this journal from the seat of my rented car, sitting outside an exclusive residence in troubled Kyrgyzstan. An exclusive residence that, if all the wires are in their right place, will not exist in but a few minutes.



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  • The Secret Email Inbox of Sarah Palin

    Submitted by Maverick on 4/21/10 4:22am
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    The trial of David Kernell, the college student who hacked into then Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin's Yahoo email account in 2008, has commenced. After hijacking the account, Kernell went to great lengths to brag about his accomplishment, a decision that brought the FBI to his door and now has the chance of sending him to prison for the rest of his life. While Palin could have recognized that it's not worth her time nor is it ethical to condemn a young man to a wasted existence just because he decided to do something goofy and ill-advised in college, she has opted to pursue the full extent of her legal options because her advisors apparently didn't inform her of the dubious security inherent to most free, web-based email programs. The former Governor of Alaska may also have to prosecute several other individuals, as many people from around the globe have produced what they claim are private emails from 2008 taken from Palin's account, which they all allegedly hacked. Here are a few of the dozens of selections.



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  • The Importance of Bendy Straws

    Submitted by Maverick on 4/13/10 9:36pm
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    I should have known that going to a place like a university in California (where Hollywood is) would be nothing but one big mess of liberal persecution. I take time out of my very busy schedule to serve up a slice of wisdom to these stupid kids and all I get in thanks is a bunch of bad press because of some libelous "shredded documents" they supposedly found that make me seem like some sort of spoiled celebrity. That, and around $100K in foundation courtesy. But I've never been one to hide my true self from the public. After all, they elected me to my current position. I'll cop to a few of the supposed "demands" on my speaking engagement agreement. Why? Because, damn it, I will not apologize for my undying love for bendy straws.



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  • Every Day, That's How Often

    Submitted by Maverick on 4/6/10 11:21pm
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    4:20 support Andy Ward's art every day4:20 support Andy Ward's art every dayYa know, people have been saying completely untrue things about me ever since I joined John on the trail those years ago. Well, every once in a while I have to do my best to clear the air and speak for myself so the media doesn't get the last word about my incredibly nuanced life. I've stepped into the fray to tell everyone once and for all that I indeed do not keep a bin of dungeness crabs with me wherever I go to use in some bizarre sex ritual. I went on record explaining that my hatred for the entire nation of Taiwan has nothing to do with racism and everything to do with a faulty plastic toy that rendered significant (though potentially temporary) neurological damage to my seven-year-old self. Today I must once again stand in defense of my own unassailable character because of the broad and thoroughly incorrect assumptions of that good-for-nothing liberal Steve Fox. Not only am I in support of the full legalization of marijuana, I would gladly speak on behalf of Nevadans for Sensible Marijuana Laws not for $25,000, but completely pro bono.



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