Thursday, October 23rd

10:01PM

Dear Diary,

Spent hours today trying to convince campaign manager that am not secretly Democrat masterminding clever scheme to undermine McCain campaign. Initial argument that would not be on Republican ticket if was not Republican apparently not good enough, so have made list.

Reasons Why I Am Not a Democratic Plant

By Sarah L. Palin

1. Scarf incident not sign of changed allegiance, but of need to keep neck warm as RNC will no longer fund shopping expenditures.

2. Just because I am female and the only two other female politicians anyone knows about—Pelosi and Clinton—happen to be female does not mean I harbor dangerous Democratic tendencies. After all, I don’t have those awful pro-abortion views, now do I?

3. Praise for message of hope and change not indicator of belief in Barack’s party, but rather appreciation of good keywords. And, really, Republican Party needs words of hope and change more anyway. Have you seen what we put into White House last time?

4. Running mate believes that I am messiah. God wouldn’t be so unfair so as to put two messiahs in one party.

5. Don’t even like keeping plants as in Alaska have no need to maintain houseplants because instead have something called ‘the Great Outdoors’, which, for all you NYC people, is a big place filled with lots of plants. And oil.

6. If I was secretly supporting another party, it would not be the Democrats.

Love yah!

Sarah

PS. Middle initial ‘L’ stands for nice, non-terrorist name “Louise.” Just to be safe, researched origins of middle name. Turns out has German roots. Hope that this is not problem, but will warn Rick so that anti-Nazi arguments can prepared if necessary.