Wednesday, October 28th

7:48PM

Dear Diary,

Have heard that my way of talkin’ is good means of stirring up support among rural voters, obscuring issues, and, in general, winning election. Have compiled list of most effective Palin-isms and their English translations so as to increase use of most useful expressions in future speeches.

Palin-isms, Translations, and Uses

“Nucular”

Meaning: Refers to things that are very bad unless we have them.

Used: Frequently over last eight years with great success.

“You betcha!”

Meaning: ‘Of course I am right, you godless liberals’, but in non-controversial, folksy sort of way.

Used: After rhetorical questions.

“Pallin’ around with”

Meaning: Consorts with, heavily influenced by.

Used: For making dangerous insinuations while appearing to be discussing happy friendship-like activities.

“Minnesooda”

Meaning: A Midwestern state.

Used: To persuade voters with understanding of correct pronunciation of state name.

“Terrist”

Meaning: Muslims who hate God and try to destroy God’s chosen people.

Used: All the time.

However, while online sources say that way of speaking is good for campaign, campaign itself says that speaking at all is bad for campaign.

Love yah!

Sarah