Alright, diary. Here's my first draft of the letter I'm gonna publish in a bunch of national newspapers and on Fox News and a few other places, like a website if I've got one. I'm not quite ready to show it to my speech team and maybe I never will. After all, it's not a speech, so they'd probably just screw it up. Anyway, I think I'm gonna call it "Make Christmas Merry Again".

Dear People of America, Her Protected and Liberated Territories and Salaam Aleikum to You, Sheik Anwar Rusalani,

We are fast approaching the most important holiday of the year, a time when people all over the world are united by a common faith and a dedication to peace, joy and prosperity. It is on the topic of prosperity that I write to you all today, and especially to you, Sheik Rusalani. You see, I, Sarah Palin, have been on a long, arduous tour around this great nation bringing hope and a renewed sense of liberty to the freedom-loving people of America with the help of my book, Going Rogue. Though I will not be so impolite as to mention exactly how much it costs to conduct a single book signing, let alone the entire tour, I assure you it is considerable. As such, I once again find myself in dire financial straits.

Do not mistake the above for a sentiment of regret. I am glad to go poor for the sake of my beloved United States. But just because I am willing to take on the burden of poverty to further the cause of liberty doesn't mean I don't feel troubled by the consequences to my family as a result. With Christmas just around the corner I fear that my book tour has rendered me incapable of affording presents for my beloved family. In addition to the base cost of the gifts themselves, I will have to somehow transport them to Alaska as I have not been back to my home state in some time and have no plans to return any time soon. No, not while there is still a message of freedom to spread in the lower 48 states, Hawaii, Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands and maybe a quick jaunt over to the south of France in the Spring when I hear it's just to die for.

Imagine, if you will, what it must be like to fear for that fateful Christmas morning when the kids run down the stairs to the tree, or in Bristol's case wanders a few feet to the left of her bed to the sparsely decorated shrub on the far end of the trailer, only to find nothing there. No toys, no candy, no adorable sweaters. Or, Sheik Rusalani, imagine your children descending in your crystal elevator from their whole-floor quarters in the Glory Tower on their monthly Extra Indulgence Day only to find the customary local service children bearing not a single gold-plated scale replica of your favorite private jet or rare porcelain figurine procured from the destitute descendant of a former Prussian noble you just relieved of his familial estate. This is an experience no parent should ever have to endure.

This is why I have started the Alaska Family Pride Fund, a charity to ensure that the children and husband I have not seen in months can have the kind of Christmas they deserve. The Palin family is central to the pride and well-being of the entire state of Alaska and thereby the nation as a whole. For as the great Republican President Abraham Lincoln said, "Together we stand. Divided we fall" and that is what we will be, a divided nation, if you refuse to provide gifts for my family this year at Christmas. If you were willing to support us in our fight against those false allegations against me, or that one time with that one thing, Sheik Rusalani, then there is no reason why you shouldn't be happy to give of yourselves for the sake of my family.

Yours In Service,

-Sarah Palin