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Maverick Media Group LLC, the representative organization for political superstar and author personality Sarah Palin, would like to extend its thanks to you [insert venue name and/or managing individual here] for hosting a stop on the official Sarah Palin Going Rogue promotional book tour. As a very important person with very specific needs, Mrs. Palin will require the following upon her arrival at your venue.

1. A 100 Square Foot Dressing Room or Double-Wide Private Trailer

Mrs. Palin has a very strenuous job and thus requires the comfort of a quiet, isolated space in which to find her center prior to and directly after an appearance. She has a complex meditation regimen to maintain and must have at least two hours of uninterrupted privacy in order to properly perform her duties as a personality promoting her book. In the event that your venue is incapable of providing such a space on its own grounds, a hotel room for the above purposes must be provided at the venue's expense. See document 31B for Maverick Media Group LLC's official definition of "a hotel room".

 

2. No Fewer Than 12 Individual Packages of Happy Brand Japanese Pudding

Mrs. Palin discovered Happy brand pudding on her recent visit to the Far East and has deemed it the most delicious variety of packaged dessert product in the known universe. For Maverick Media Group LLC's official definition of "delicious" as well as a detailed map of "the known universe", see document 12G. Mrs. Palin will require no fewer than a dozen individual Happy Snacku-Packu cups to be placed in a cool, dry corner of her dressing room, trailer or hotel room. Refrigeration will not be necessary, nor will an eating utensil.

 

3. An 80 Gallon Inflatable Plastic Kiddie Pool (non-Taiwanese brand)

Mrs. Palin will require a modest kiddie pool to be inflated prior to her arrival and placed on a disposable tarp in her dressing room, trailer or hotel room. The particular brand of the pool is immaterial, though any pool manufactured in the country of Taiwan will be unsuitable. The pool must be able to comfortably contain 80 gallons of liquid.

 

4. At least 3 Pre-Furbished Backstage Passes for Guests

Following her public appearance at your venue, Mrs. Palin will return to her dressing room, trailer or hotel room with no fewer than three guests. These guests will require special passes so as to avoid any misunderstanding that might occur due to any of the following circumstances: Disorientation, intoxication, head trauma, visual impairment by pudding-like substance, hearing impairment by pudding-like substance, unforeseen allergy to pudding, insufficient comprehension of the English language.

 

Maverick Media Group LLC thanks you again for your participation in the official Sarah Palin Going Rogue promotional book tour. If you have any questions concerning the above requirements that cannot be answered by consulting the attached reference document, please do not hesitate to contact one of our representatives. We look forward to working with you and acting as your liaison to Mrs. Palin.