Entry: September 1st, 2009 (from notes)

*Mrs. Palin was furious with me over the contents of last week's entry and vowed to never let me manage her diary ever again. However, Mrs. Palin has little resolve concerning her oaths. I have been in her employ for less than a month and have already seen her lose the wheels of her tour bus to a card shark not six hours after vowing to never gamble again, consume seven KFC Double Down sandwiches over the course of a single day after swearing off meat, and of course once again enlist me in the keeping of her personal journal after promising to never task me with intellectual duties ever again. Well, she didn't use that exact phrasing, but I have become something of an acclimatized linguist in the language of one Sarah Palin. Henceforth, I, Bernard Magnusson III, will be keeping Mrs. Palin's diary again today.

Ya know, Charlie, I am just thrilled to be in the honor of being a speaker at the CLSA brokerage firm's 16th annual conference in Hong Kong. We here in the United States of America, the greatest darn country in the world, cherish our partnership with our partners in the great nation of China. Yeah, that's what I'll say when the media interviews me after I get back from the conference. Also, notes: You were once a business owner, Sarah. Also, you ran Alaska, which is a lot like a big Chinese corporation. Also, look into a formal apology from the China government for what they did to John.

*Mrs. Palin is quite excited about this proposed trip to Hong Kong. I do so sincerely hope that this engagement actually comes to fruition. My employer has a poor attendance record for scheduled speaking engagements, as her unorthodox approach to sequential thought has a tendency to lead her astray in pursuit of a new adventure. Our party finally vacated its encampment by the Spelling estate four days ago when Mrs. Palin endeavored to prove to Alec, our driver and trained cartographer, that there is no such thing as a fish taco. The following two days remain a blur of near identical California roads and blackened cod.

It's been another busy day today, diary. I ran myself totally tuckered with all of this leadership practice and ecomonics trainings. I also got some good stuff for the TV show. I wonder if I should pitch it to ABC first or CBS? I mean, Disney's just so special, but "Big Brother" is my fave. It'd be just such an honor to be on right after "Big Brother". I bet I'll get a bunch of great footage in China. Note: Find a panda. Maybe go to the zoo tomorrow and research pandas.

*Alec has plotted an ingenious course to the San Diego Zoo for tomorrow's outing and I am quite proud of the itinerary I have fashioned for the occasion.

I got a postcard from Bristol! She's such a joker, talking about how she's given her life over to The Dark One in exchange for the power to bestow The Thousand Curses of Guaresh. Oh, kids these days! I just can't keep up with their sense of humor! I'm glad I got the card today, though. Spending so much time out here in sunny California has made my beautiful state of Alaska seem so far away. I need little reminders of the simple things of real, hard-working Americans.