Entry: September 8th 2009 (from notes)

*I am writing this most recent entry during the short recess between rules deconstruction and dissemination for the Burning Rock Adventure Campaign. We are entering hour 32 of system overview for Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, a complicated and, if I might add, highly inefficient method of telling a high fantasy story. Mrs. Palin discovered a copy of the official Player's Handbook at a flea market in the Agoura valley early yesterday morning. My voice has grown hoarse and my eyes bloodshot attempting to describe the nuances of this so-called "game" to my employer, who has attached her unwavering attention to it with a fervor I have yet to witness elsewhere in my days of service. I must admit that I, Bernard Magnusson III, have had moments of doubt and weakness in which my mind wandered to fantasies of termination. Lord, give me strength in the hours to come.

This is going to totally make better my fight to make a contribution to this great nation, diary. I can feel the honor of being a real hero now that I have found the strength in this great book. I know that I'm not just Sarah Palin, wife, mother, public figure and hockey bulldog maverick patriot main street not business-as-usual... hold on, lost my train of thought. Oh, right. Deep down in my heart, I am Guth'rak Stonewrecker, barbarian queen of the ashen wilds of the orcish homeland. When I roll these dice, diary, I feel like I can finally understand what our brave patriot soldiers are going through as they defend our freedom so far from home.

*In hour 19 of today's proceedings I had a breakthrough. I finally got Mrs. Palin to grasp the mechanics of THACO. Grant has been busy developing a storyline for our campaign that will suit Mrs. Palin's interests. Though I have done my best to encourage Mrs. Palin to study her conversational Mandarin with me today, even during breaks, she has been unreceptive. Never one to shirk in the face of a challenge, I decided to sneak important phrases into my employer's game education. How I will explain to her that the barbarian orc language shares so many similarities to modern Chinese dialects is a problem for another day.

Come to think of it, diary, the Burning Rock Adventure is a lot like what our brave men and women in uniform are doing over there in the Middle East. Maybe if they had a rogue or two they wouldn't have to worry about IED's anymore and they would be able to sneak attack Osama bin Laden for extra damage. I'm gonna put that in a speech.

*In a moment of desperation, of great weakness, I perhaps unleashed a terrible scourge on my employer and her retinue. Perhaps history will be kinder to me than I deem is right, but I am willing to accept the full brunt of my wrongdoing. I could simply no longer endure the Tantalean torture of the AD&D rules system and I am fairly certain that Mrs. Palin's orcish barbarian would have rent my fragile magic user in twain upon our first disagreement. I have hired a 13-year-old local to train Mrs. Palin in the foul rituals of the World of Warcraft. May the powers that be have mercy on my frail soul.

I didn't have much time to read it, but I got another letter from Bristol today. She's still going through this Curses of Guaresh phase. Maybe I'll ask Manolito what that's all about. He seems like a hip young man, plus he taught me a quick way to get an epic mount, so he can't be all that bad. Note to self: get a stronger Internet connection, Sarah.