October 12th 2008: Phase One

At the October 12th meeting of the official Liberal Agenda, all parties present agreed that a systematic, public defamation of Republican Vice Presidential Nominee Sarah Palin was in order. They then began outlining Phase One of Operation Lame Duck which would take place over the next several months of a multi-year project. Phase One involved the raising of funds through various regular channels such as siphoning off revenue from the New York Times, selling marijuana to school children and garnering the mysterious profits that result from encouraging homosexuality in Americans. The amount of funds necessary were determined by an estimate compiled by the International Jewish Conspiracy. That number has yet to be declassified.

January 2nd 2009: Phase Two

The second phase of Operation Lame Duck involved the establishment of a seemingly benign political collective called The Teabaggers. They would begin as a loud but insignificant entity growing in the wake of Barack Obama's election to the office of President and slowly evolve into the center of an unusual amount of political gravity thanks to an inexplicable obsession with it by the press. The Agenda was correct in its assumption that most Americans would ignore the Teabaggers because they based many of their arguments on extreme misconceptions about the nature of US politics. The Teabaggers would further tarnish their own image through their insistence on unnecessary wastes of resource such as mandatory prayer, the singing of certain songs and the continued fracturing of certain cliques within the movement.

June 8th 2009: Phase Three

The Agenda implemented the third phase of Operation Lame Duck by assaulting Sarah Palin with subliminal messages that compelled her to relinquish her seat as the governor of Alaska. Predictably, this led to Palin pursuing other avenues to keep her name relevant in modern politics, including engaging with the Teabaggers as if they were a serious popular entity.

October 12th 2009: Update

A year after Operation Lame Duck launched, the Agenda convened to go over the details of its implementation. All but one delegate, the Consular of Foreigners, considered the project an unqualified success.

December 25th 2009: Phase Four

During their annual blitzkrieg against Christmas the Agenda launched the fourth phase of Operation Lame Duck, the creation of an official convention for the newly dubbed Tea Party. The venue, key note speakers and color scheme were all decided during this meeting.

February 9th 2010: Phase Five

Shortly before her scheduled appearance at the Tea Party convention, Liberal Agenda operatives rendered Sarah Palin unconscious and brought her to a secure location where an expert handwriting forger scribbled what would appear to be notes on Palin's left palm. By the time Palin woke up she had no means to wash the notes off, so she went on stage and hoped for the best. The Agenda made sure to position various members of the media so they could capture photos of the notes in Palin's hand, thus defaming her across the nation for being ill-prepared and buffoonish.

Unknown Date: Phase Six