I have to be on board with this plan, because Newt has said that he might choose me to be the secretary of something. (Energy? I think it was energy. It was a couple weeks ago. I'd have to look it up. I'm not one of those gals who lets facts clutter up her mind. I prefer to just drift along waiting for awesome stuff to happen. It's worked pretty well for me so far!)

 

Maybe I will be Secretary of the Moon. Or I could even be the moon base's governor! You can be Vice President and a governor at the same time, can't you? Let me text my campaign manager. He's not texting me back. Anyway I'm pretty sure you can. How hard could it be? 

 

Shoot, a state pretty much runs itself. Alaska did fine when I was in office, and I was only half paying attention at the best of times. Vice President is probably pretty much the same, except you get to live in the White House. You do get to live in the White House, don't you? Well, I would, that's for sure. Make room for Sarah!

 

A state on the moon? That's a shoe-in. I think Alaskans should live there. We're already used to darkness and cold temperatures. Except I don't know what there would be to shoot on the moon, so that might be a problem. We could bring moose to the moon. And then wolves to eat the moose. And then people could shoot the wolves to stop them eating the moose, so that people could eat the moose instead. It's a foolproof plan!

 

Yep, I'm pretty excited about this moon colony plan. And I'm not just saying that because I'm fishing for the VP slot on Newt's campaign train. Oh no, not at all. I genuinely think that building an American state on the moon is a great idea. Because how else can we maintain our global supremacy? And… I don't know. It's a dumb idea, but don't tell him I said so.

 

Besides, not to state the obvious, but if you lived on the moon, you would literally be able to see Russia from your back porch.