The Palin family has come under fire for hosting a Venezuelan company with socialist ties in the Iron Dog snowmobile races that just finished in Alaska. This news will likely fade soon, especially considering this breaking report about the members of the Iditarod dog sled team the Palins are secretly sponsoring during this year's race, which is currently underway. While all the human members of the team have been thoroughly vetted, the same cannot be said for the dogs themselves.

1. Pepper- This lead husky has a checkered romantic history. An estimated fourteen puppies have been conceived by Pepper in the past four years alone, all of them out of wedlock.

2. Snickers- The beta of the pack is currently in a dispute with the Mars Corporation concerning the rights to his name. Though the famous candy company has allowed the dog to retain the trademarked name since its birth over six years ago, it did so only because the quadruped hadn't taken any steps to profit from it. Now that he is a famous athlete taking endorsement benefits, Snickers may be facing an uphill battle in court.

3. Rufus- Though it has been over a year since his last incident of violence, second-row runner Rufus narrowly escaped incarceration for fighting with other animals. As many as six cases of assault have been linked to the dog, but only one has been verified by authorities. Rufus's handler reassured reporters that the sledding star has turned to Jesus for guidance, though many remain skeptical of his ability to control his temper.

4. Bella- The only female of the team has recently faced allegations that she is a homosexual, to which she responded by posting a 2000-word rant about gender inequality in animal-based sports on her Facebook page.

5. Rocky- Third-row veteran Alistair's Proud Rockefeller (Rocky for short) is an official AKC show dog who has been seen associating with members of the American National Socialist Party.

6. Nimbus- So named for his dark gray fur, fourth-row runner Nimbus is a recovering alcoholic who, according to his sponsor, has relapsed no fewer than seven times in the past three years.

7-12. Jose, Consuelo, Vidal, Manuel, Pedro and Santos- These six dogs composing the majority of the middle rows are in fact Venezuelan nationals who came to America after several years working in an agricultural collective outside of Caracas. They have all contributed to the Venezuelan newspaper El Universal, a publication with strong revolutionary overtones.

13. Victor- The oldest dog in the sled team, Victor is the son of Mishko, also a sled athlete, who himself was the son of Pravda, a late-period KGB canine operative who was caught attempting to steal American infrastructure blueprints.

14 and 15. Milk and Cereal- These twins made headlines in 2008 when they were tied to an alleged plot to bomb the 2008 World Trade Organization conference in Doha. Though their names were mentioned in the investigation, a lack of paw prints on the explosive materials intended for the attack led to their release following a fruitless round of questioning.

16. Lindsay- The final dog in the sled team traveled to Canada for a crucial surgical procedure in early 2009 when his insurance provider in the States cut his coverage. Though the young husky has never made a public statement concerning his position on the current health care debate in America, many question the implications of his presence on a Palin-sponsored team.