A lot of folks have probably seen my recent post on my Facebook page about my opinions of women's rights groups and their protests against the pro-life ad that is set to run during the Super Bowl. I mean, it is a pretty popular Facebook page, just like everything I do is inherently interesting and famous. I feel like I need to further explain my position because I've gotten some pretty bad press over this business. So, I'm here to outline the Top 3 reasons why everyone should really believe what I believe about the pro-life debate and the role of politics in the media. Also, please accept my friend requests and enjoy the free personality quiz below.

Point #1: Pro-Life is Actually About Choice

I really resent the way pro-abortion people have misappropriated the term "choice" for their cause. Saying you're all about choice when what you're really for is killing adorable little miracles from heaven is pretty dishonest. Even more importantly, being pro-life is being pro-choice. After all, if you abort your baby you're just making one choice, but if you give birth to your baby and raise it you'll have a whole lifetime of choices to make as a result. Also, if you abort you'll make it so your baby won't be able to make any choices at all, ever. That doesn't sound very pro-choice to me.

Point #2: Being Pro-Life is Empowering to Women

It's so ridiculous that political action groups that say they're for women's rights and the empowerment of females everywhere are almost all pro-"choice". I mean, what could be more womanly than having babies? Killing things is for men, which is why we only put men in combat during war and why there aren't any women on SWAT teams. I know the women's rights groups want female soldiers to have combat duties, too, which is another bad idea. Do you know who also lets women into combat? The Israeli Defense Force. While I certainly support our allies in the State of Israel, I don't think it's any coincidence that they both have female combat soldiers and have been at war for over 60 years. This is the United States of America, not Israel. Or have you forgotten that, National Organization for Women?

Point #3: The Pro-Choice Platform Objectifies Women

Being pro-life isn't just about opposing the practice of abortion, but also about supporting methods to prevent unexpected pregnancies. It may not be popular to say so, but the most surefire way to prevent an unexpected pregnancy is to remain abstinant. Pregnancy is a consequence of sex, like it or not. Promoting the practice of abortion takes away that consequence and pretty much tells women that they should just go out and have sex all the time, JUST LIKE THE PATRIARCHY WANTS. Women know that sex isn't something that should just be thrown around. It's a powerful resource that should be hoarded just like Middle Eastern petrolium sheiks stockpile oil to drive up the market. I mean, it's not like there's some futuristic technology out there that can allow people to have sex and prevent pregnancy at a rate of effectiveness exceeding 99%.

So, now everyone should understand that my pro-life position is unimpeachable. I like that word. Thanks, Dictionary.com! Enjoy the Super Bowl, everybody, and remember, being pro-choice is being anti-woman.