Ya know, I am darn tired of people saying I'm a quitter. It is just ignorant and closed-minded for the folks in the media to tell everyone that I can't ever finish anything, that I just give up at the drop of a hat. It is so untrue I can't even begin to describe how untrue it is. It's super-untrue, that's what it is. Sarah Palin is a lot of a things, a real onion of nuance, but one thing she most certainly is not is a quitter.

Yeah, sure, it took me five tries to get my bachelor's degree, but that doesn't mean the first four times were "quitting". I had pageants and stuff to take care of. Anyway, the whole thing only lasted just shy of six years. I mean, who in this day and age can get an undergraduate degree in less than six years? It's impossible, so nobody. At least, that's what my folks said, and I honor my mother and father in everything they say. That's why I wear two slices of mozzarella cheese in my skivvies, one for each buttock, to keep evil spirits from spoiling my canned goods. Old World wisdom never goes out of style.

And I know I left my position as Governor of Alaska before my term was up, but just like I explained back when it was first going on, I didn't quit my job in the government. It was just time to move on, a new chapter in the life of Sarah Palin. I knew that my talents would be put to better use outside the confines of that office. If anything, staying in my elected position would have wasted my skills, so it would have been like quitting on America. But I didn't do that, because Sarah Palin ain't no quitter.

So what if I left a couple hundred people with unsigned books at one of my own promotional book signing events? So what if they had been promised by official spokespeople and were even given wrist bands that signified guarantees that they would meet me, Sarah Palin, and that I would indeed sign their books? That isn't quitting. I signed literally dozens of books that day and later I signed a bunch more at a different event. That's not quitting. Is it quitting when a doctor moves his practice to a different location? No. All I did was refer my "patients" to another doctor who could better suit their needs. I'm sure they all found someone to sign their books and give them hope for a future of liberty.

And I wish everybody would shut up about that marathon I technically didn't finish. Ya know, running marathons is hard and anyway it's not about "finishing" any more than playing a sport is just about "winning". It was about the experience, about finding the natural limits of my body and pushing myself to do something great. I'm proud of the work I did in that marathon. I did finish, it's just that my goal happened to fall shorter than the one everybody else set. Where would I be in this life if all I did was listen to what other people told me to do?

So, no, I am not a quitter. I make my plans and I see them through, no matter what anyone else says. The most important thing to remember is... ah, screw it. I'm done writing this thing.