Ya know, I used to like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Me and Todd's first date was Hercules in New York and it was one of the most romantic nights of my life. A trip to the Taco Shack, a couple of those hot packs the skiers use and the lights of the drive-in theater was all it took to open the padlock around my heart back then. Well, that wonderful memory has been ruined forever now that Arnie's decided to go after yours truly in the media. All this just because he wants to get chummy with Al "The Sky Is Falling" Gore. Damn it, politics is hard!

Schwarzenegger has accused me, me of being more concerned with my career than I am with the good of the world. Look who's talking (with a really thick accent, too). Arnie spent all that time making sure everyone knew his name before he ran for office. Coincidence? I think not. Between the two of us, one was selected before she was famous to represent an entire state. I mean, honestly, what business does an actor have being a politician anyway?

And speaking of states, Schwarzenegger's the governor of California and he calls himself a Republican. Ha! Everybody knows that California is nothing but a big nest full of Liberal agenda. I mean, just look at the guy. He's all about climate change legislation and he let all of those indecent movies get made on his watch. Why doesn't he just paint the governor's mansion blue and ride around on a donkey?

But what really steams me about Schwarzenegger is that he comes into our country and thinks he can tell us how to run things? The Greatest Generation fought a long, bloody war so we wouldn't have to listen to people with his kind of accent tell us what to do. I just can't believe they let him in office without even batting an eye. I mean, there are no American governors over in Germany or wherever he's from. They don't allow it, I bet. I think it's amazing that we've let someone who probably doesn't even understand the American way of life have the most important job in an entire state, even if it is kind of a stupid state.

What's really dangerous is that they let an immigrant be the governor of a state that has a big immigration problem. That's like letting the kids be in charge of the cookie jar. All that "he understands what it's like to be a guest in our country blah blah blah" stuff is just a cover. Americans ought to be in control of America, gosh darn it!

Anyway, Arnie's got another thing coming if he thinks I'm gonna just lay down and take this bad-mouthing. Yes sir, he's gonna get a real seeing to on my Facebook page. That'll learn 'em to come into the greatest country in the world and start saying nasty, untrue things about born and bred working folks like me.