I don't know if you heard, but some mean ol' Lamestream Media dude at CNN said that defending your credentials to me was like "defending your sense of character to Snooki and Nicki Minaj."

 

First of all, I have to congratulate Robert Zimmerman on comparing me to two of the most popular, highest rated, richest women on television today. How much is Nicki Minaj worth? A lot, I bet. And if she wasn't a household name after her super popular song "Super Bass" (Piper played it for me on her iPod) and that thing where the little kids sang her song and then she hugged them on Ellen, she will be a household name after that whackadoo thing at the Grammys where she dressed up like a red priest or something.

There is another thing Nicki Minaj and I have in common: we both distrust Catholocism! I would like to shake this young lady's hand, I sure would. I bet she is in favor of dessert, too, not like that big meanie Michelle Obama.

 

Anyway.

 

Snooki, now, Snooki has made some regrettable life choices in the past. But I have to say, I really dig the way she is working that spray tan. I can only hope to attain that level of tan-ness, that healthy glow! It really is radiant. And her hairdo, of course, is beyond reproach. You know how I love me a good Bumpit!

 

Snooki's wardrobe is also pretty fly (is that still a thing? Calling something "fly"?) although if you ask me, it has a tendency to FLY in the wrong direction. How many times has Snooki taken a little tumble at the club and flashed everyone her underpants? By my count, a lot of times, but you would never get me to admit that I watch trash television like "Jersey Shore" oh no. I just heard about it on my Blackberry. Someone texted me. You know how it goes.

 

The real problem here is that this all came up in the context of how I called Mitt Romney a bad conservative. Well, I didn't go that far. I said I doubted his conservativism. I didn't attack him, mind you. I just, you know. I have doubts. That's legitimate, right?

 

And then the next thing you know I'm being compared to a couple of pop culture sluts. I mean, powerful industry women! Beautiful, strong women, who know how to lead a network, if not a nation! Sure.