I don't know if you caught this over the weekend, but Buzzfeed had the temerity to print up a graphic with the speaking fees for various political figures. And a lot of people were upset! They think it is somehow inappropriate for a former politician like Rudy Giuliani to earn more money for one speech than most Americans earn in a year.

 

Of course, that's what poor people would say!

 

Me, I'm a tough working mom, a heartlander, a grizzly mom, a hockey mom, I'm one of you. Just because I earn between $75,000 to $100,000 per speech doesn't change that. It just points out how desperate Americans are to hear the words of a REAL American! To hear a working mother speak from the heart. 

 

Do you see? The more they pay me, the more it means they really value you, the working American who earns less in a year than I do in a half hour speech. Real people! That's what this is about. Real people.

 

Now a lot of folks might think it's absurd to throw a hundred Gs at someone like me, who dropped out of office halfway through because it was too hard. Who never really did anything, but who keeps getting hired for make-believe jobs like "reality show star" and "Fox News commentator." But it's not true. 

 

This is about you, and I'm pretty sure it's about God somehow. About faith, and that shining city on the hill that America once was. About letting go and letting God. And, you know, with the footprints.

 

My speaking fee has been a sore spot in the past. Mostly with Godless liberals and cowards and the like. In the first year after I left office, I scooped up about $12 million, but mama's gotta buy more baby formula and bendy straws, so I keep working it. 

 

But back in 2010 when I spoke at the state university in Turlock, CA, they tried to hide how much they paid me. They shredded the documents that showed my speaking fee. Which is ridiculous! If a state college in some backwater town wants to pay me six figures to natter on for a while, I say let them! That is what freedom means, with the bells and the warning of the British! And if that state school wants to pay me with state taxpayer money, I say let 'em! Let freedom ring! And let freedom sign my paycheck, too!