My Dearest Maggie,

Though it has been many years since last we spoke, I feel compelled to warn you now of an impending trial that waits on the horizon for you. In but a short time, an individual who has been, if you'll excuse my parlance, mucking around in the colonies will descend upon our fair England in search of you. I cannot claim to know the full extent of her motives or what she plans to do once she catches up with you, but I can assure you that it will be not at all pleasant for you or anyone in your general vicinity. I fear that if I were to divulge any more details about this individual via the easily intercepted lines of the regular post then my efforts might all be for naught. Should you wish to know more, I suggest we utilize those secure measures once implemented in your time as Prime Minister.

Yours always in good faith,

-Bernard Magnusson III

Young Master Bernard,

I must admit that I was quite surprised to receive a letter from you after all this time. Like so many of my apprentices, I assumed you had vanished into the illustrious career my tutelage made possible, but perhaps that was just the impertinence of my own impatience convincing me that you were just like all the others. You and I know that was never true. Of course, I have not been entirely ignorant of your exploits as of late. Heavens no, I have heard many intriguing things concerning you and your special companion. Oh yes, I know all about you and that strange American woman. You Afrikaners, always so attracted to the faraway and exotic, even when it's not good for you. Rest assured, young Magnusson, that I am quite aware of the upcoming visit from that Palin woman and I feel that I am adequately prepared for whatever foolishness she intends to bring with her. Honestly, Bernard, I expected you to have a higher standard for your partners. At any rate, as you can see I have bowed to your request to use the old network for our communications, though I hardly see why it is necessary.

Your educator always,

-Baroness Margaret Thatcher, LG, OM, PC, FRS

 

Maggie,

I am glad to see that you are strong and sober as ever, though I must insist that you take stock of the evidence apparent in the research you have no doubt conducted on Sarah Palin. It is true that the woman I have by my side is that individual, though not as the rest of the world knows her. To understand the full extent of what I mean, you need only bring your hand lens to the reports of certain unusual events in China this October last. The individual en route to England is not my Sarah, but a dangerous entity I once foolishly thought was in my control. You mustn't face this creature ill-prepared. I tremble at the thought of how it might interpret the metaphors of affection used by beings of living flesh like us.

Go with God,

-Bernard Magnusson III

 

Young Bernard,

Fear not, my apprentice. You were always so sensitive and prone to worry. My agents delivered intelligence to me weeks ago concerning the possibility of a deadly robot impersonating that Palin woman to whom you are so attached. I admit, I had not guessed that such a device had been of your own design. Congratulations are in order, as is some sort of gift. When the machine arrives on the shores of our beloved empire, reduced though it is, I will have my way with its buzzing clockwork. I will do it no harm, as it is a creation of my most talented student, but I will certainly augment it to my liking. When I am finished with this so-called Palin-Bot, it will have a few choice orders from the Baroness of Kesteven. It shall be quite delightful.

Always a pleasure,

-Baroness Margaret Thatcher, LG, OM, PC, FRS