Okay, dear diary, I admit it - I still think about dropping into the presidential race! And I know I'm not the only one. I have a lot of fans out there, you better believe it! Including some of those wacky kids at the Huffington Post, of all places! 

 

Now I gotta admit, they are only endorsing my run for president because they think I will say funny things that they can laugh at. Well ha ha ha, the joke's on them, because what if their fake endorsement meant that I became the real president? A girl can dream, can't she?

Oh boy, here we are, defending Newt again. This time against attacks which, I don't know, I don't really get what they're sayin. Don't the Republicans adore Reagan? Why would it be a bad thing if Gingrich learned lessons at Reagan's feet? Oh, but that's the kind of details level stuff that I have People to work out for me. 

 

The important thing is, they're attacking Newt, so I have to wade in there and wag my finger and tell them they're wrong. Because I said so, that's why! 

Greta Van Susteren interviewed me after the State of the Union address, and she seemed to get a little annoyed with my vague answers. But seriously, what do you want from me? Obviously I don't like President Obama's State of the Union address. I don't even have to watch it to know that. In fact, I kind of didn't watch it, to tell you the truth. I was too busy texting and emailing and BBMing everybody about it.

 

I mean, don't get me wrong, I love a good long speech as much as everyone. A good long boring speech that drones on and on, and that says the same tired old stuff, just one big empty gesture. Heck, I've given plenty of speeches like that, myself. But that doesn't mean I can sit through one without my eyes glazing over.

Had a great interview with Hannity the other night, about how the attacks on Newt Gingrich are actually opportunities. It's an "attackitunity"! Turn that frown upside down! Your hate only feeds me! I'm rubber and you're glue! Etc.

 

In hindsight, I would never in a million years admit that I misused the words "incentivized" and "covertly." I do not misuse words. Ever. I may use them in a context with which you are unfamiliar, like I might use the word "covertly" when someone else might use the word "accidentally" or "unintentionally." But that doesn't mean I used the word "covertly" wrong. It just means that English is an evolving language, and maybe you don't understand the word "covertly" as well as you thought you did. (Note to self: ask fans to update Wikipedia pages for "covertly" and "incentivize.")

A lot of people probably don't think I'm a Saturday Night Live fan. And it's true, I'm not. I mean, I was ON Saturday Night Live? And there's that whole thing with Tina Fey obviously. But I don't really get the humor, and it's on way too late for a working mom like me. Who can stay up that late anymore?

 

But last Saturday I happened to wake up in the middle of the night and I couldn't get back to sleep. (I had this weird dream where the bearskin rug in our living room came back to life and was chiding me for solving my problems with violence instead of diplomacy. Where did THAT come from?) I didn't want to wake up the rest of the house, because I knew they would start whining and asking for stuff. So I bundled up and trotted over to our private television studio that we built in the outbuilding across the yard.